If I’m being completely honest, I don’t know what being free means. I’ve always thought being free would mean getting a job, earning some money, and then living in a nice apartment. I’ve always thought if you worked hard and got money, you’d be a couple steps closer to the American dream and happiness, because it feels like we only live to get money.

I used to skip school. I know that isn’t ideal, but once I was out of the school, I’d feel this relief and finally smell fresh air. I would listen to “House of Balloons” by The Weeknd to feel as if I were alone in my bedroom staring at the ceiling, to finally be comfortable and not worry if one day I could be the next black person shot or worry if the job I want isn’t a fit place for me. As the singer Abel said, “cold and empty no one around to judge me.” I’d hear those words every time I felt free, the only time I knew I was free. So when I heard those words just now, while writing this, I felt as if this is a safe place. To just write what I want.